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11:48pm 25/12/2004
  dude...life sucks. all ive got now is friends and music. horray for that.

"everything will be alright"

...my love life is like a sad song being played on repeat...


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01:35am 28/11/2004
mood: drained
yes yes...TSOL was a fan-fuckin-tastic...very good shit...anyways...thats basically been the highlight of my past week...tomorrow is our show...i hope i dont fuck up...i need to shower...goodbye
03:27pm 19/11/2004
mood: Emo
hooray for lonliness!
11:10pm 27/10/2004
mood: happy
01:55am 25/10/2004
mood: indescribable
Life is great...everything seems to be going good as of late...im pretty happy...im pretty sober...its pretty neat...I TURNED 17 TODAY!...YEA...thats about it...i shall go listen to le tigre...goodbye
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09:55pm 21/10/2004
mood: happy
10:39am 17/10/2004
  DUDE!...i am not possessive!...i dont understand sometimes man...y do people get things so twisted?  
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09:35pm 10/10/2004
mood: depressed
i cant focus on the good things going on my life. why?. because there arent any. i fucked up too much already in my near 17 years of life. i realize my wrongs. i am a big problem. i smoke pot. it makes me happy. leo is my best friend. if it wasnt for him, id probably have done things even worse than what i have already done. i am sensitive. i am not a girl. music makes me happy.it seems as if i cant be trusted. was i wrong at homecoming? i know i overreacted. i am stupid. i fucked up really bad. i cant take this anymore. i feel like its impossible for me to do anything right. am i that fucking stupid?! ive waited for the right girl to come around and when she did, i ruined everything because of stupidity. I AM FUCKING STUPID! i ruin peoples lives. i am a fuck up and its nobody elses fault but mine.i need to grow up. i need to change my ways. its 9:42 and we arent talking. it really makes me sad.i love you. im crying. ill do anything to fix my mistakes. i told you its a promise. no more arguing. why did you leave me. i was sorry. i didnt wanna let go. please come back in my life. we belong together. i love you even if you dont love me. it sucks that it had to come to this for me to realize that i need a change. i am not the same person i used to be. please dont hate me, please.
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06:40pm 09/10/2004
mood: anxious
homecoming awaits. it shall go well.
09:54pm 07/10/2004
mood: crappy
gravity bongs will get you.
11:14am 04/10/2004
mood: cheerful
once again...i really love kristen alot...anyways...just thought id start off on that note...as you may have possibly seen already...ive updated all of my journals...i was washing dishes earlier and some soap splashed in my eye...that happened like 15 minutes ago...IT STILL BURNS!...i rinsed it with water but it still kinda hurts...im trying not to blink...shit sucks...i talked to my mother and she is leaving around 12...shes not leaving at 12...when my mom gives a time when shes leaving...i always add a couple of hours to it...she kinda lags...but yea...im guessing that they are gonna be back at around 8...thats almost tiite...but yea...im gonna go clean up some stuff...maybe ill write more later...1
08:36pm 03/10/2004
mood: happy
I really love my girlfriend a lot.
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11:23am 26/09/2004
mood: sick
Being sick sucks...it kinda hit me hard this morning...we shall jam in about an hour...cheez-its and pink lemonade is a good 1, 2 combo.
09:51pm 16/09/2004
mood: crushed
i play myself for a fool too much...why?...why do hopes build up only to be shattered in such a harsh way that its indescribable..friends huh?...thats great.
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11:01pm 09/09/2004
  Im done for...Im In...I love her.  
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11:28pm 30/08/2004
mood: Faded
OOOOOH FUCK YEA!!!!...*ak-hem*...hello mother fuckers..how are you?!...anyways...i felt like writing today...somerset is wacccccck...weed is good!...ryan is a good friend of mine...leo is my hero...george is a scumbag....thats it
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05:01pm 17/08/2004
mood: bored
i decided to write on this piece of shit again cuz ive been really bored...but yea...hmmm yea...nothin really...sunken city is tiite...i miss kristen...and yea..thats about it tho...nothing too interesting...goodbye.
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10:46pm 12/08/2004
  Call me a pussy if you want...i dont give a fuck what you label me...emo...pansy, i dont give a fuck...im putting this on here kristen cuz i know you will see it...whoever else sees it, think what the fuck you want...it doesnt even matter...i want everyone to know how i truly feel about kristen and i dont care who knows it...im not embarrased to show how i really feel...kristen...i am putting this on here, first cuz i dont know your email address and second...i kno you will come to this site cuz u are live journal master...


i really fucking miss you!...i never thought that i ever miss a girl this much and its all my fucking fault...i miss everything about you...you are the only girl for me...i failed to see how much you meantsto me and how happy you made me...i keep thinking about all of the good times that me and you shared and i now realize how much im gonna miss that and how much those times meant to me...i NEED another chance with you...i cant take it...it hurts me so much to think how bad its gonna be without you...seriously...i know i fucked up and i just want one more chance...it sucks that it had to come down to something like this to make me realize what i actually had...i had the best girlfriend a guy could ever have but i took it for granted...i fucking broke down when you told me that you didnt wanna be with me...i dont want this to be the end.

This is exactly how i feel...

"Part Of My Past"

Make this ride as fast as I can
Tonight this road home feels a little longer
I hope you know that you were my best friend
Tonight I said goodbye, but I should have said more
Thanks for the best time of my life.
Come home, now that you're gone I've finally realized
That you were the best
Come home, I won't forget the times that we had
I'm wishing that you weren't a part of my past
Emptiness swallows this town
From now on I will be alone for good
Will you remember my name?
I'm hoping that I will hear from you soon
Thank you for everything
Come home, now that you're gone I've finally realized
That you were the best
Come home, I won't forget the times that we had
So please don't be a part of my past

please dont be in my past...i want you now, in the present and in the future...FOREVER!...i belong with you and you belong with me...i know how bad i fucked up and im sorry...i dont wanna lose somebody as priceless as you...i want to be there for you...i want to share more good times with you...i just cant believe how stupid i was to do what i did...it kills me to think about all the great times we spent together...it fucking tears me apart...it feels like a part of me died cuz i know that you arent gonna forgive me and we cant share any more good moments...i loved being able to make you laugh with our little mistkaes we would make...full 360, goorvy, THE RICK!...i loved that...i loved being able to make you laugh...i love you...i miite not show it in person...but believe me, i feel it...i cant be without you...its just not crackin without you...ive been so depressed lately cuz i kno that IM THE ONE that fucked and i know that im the one to blame...all i ask for is one more chance...just one more...i cant deal with you not being in my life anymore...you were the best girlfriend ever and i failed to notice that until now...i want to be able to laugh and joke with you again...i want you back...i believe i can right my wrongs and make everything all better between me and you...please i just want one more chance...one more is all i ask and i PROMISE that everything will be different and that everything will be good with me and you...i will do whatever it fucking takes to get you back...WHATEVER IT FUCKING TAKES!...i truly do love you kristen, i really do...and i mean it from the bottom of my heart...please forgive me and give me one more chance...i rarley get what i want...but please give me this one.

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03:58pm 10/08/2004
  i REALLY fucking love how nosey ass parents log onto your live journal and read EVERYTHING! WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THAT?!...this shall be my last entry...goodbye everybody.  
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10:29am 10/08/2004
mood: tired
awwwwww so tired...i gotta go to school in about a half hour...FUCK!...i really dont wanna...o well...im gonna go to taco bell after school today so thats tiite...my moms bitching...goodbye
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